


Self Perpetuating Headache

by Hipstersoulgushers



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21614671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hipstersoulgushers/pseuds/Hipstersoulgushers
Summary: Zebruh and chixie just talk a little.
Relationships: Zebruh Codakk/Chixie Roixmr
Kudos: 14





	Self Perpetuating Headache

**Author's Note:**

> This the first piece of writing I'm ever posting so I hope it's decent! it's more of a character study than a narrative >.<  
> I considered posting a slightly less depressing fic I'm working on but I don't have enough confidence to post it. :x  
> this is mostly just based on the dynamic they have my drone season entry. No NSFW stuff, just emotional frustration. 
> 
> #you know #to cope  
> ______________________________

It had been a long day. Chixie easily curled up to the blue blood next to her, even with reservations it simply was the path of least resistance. 

She rested her face on his arm and sighed, releasing tension into the air. She was tired and fulfilled, everything had been at maximum today. There had been a big show and they spent over an hour packing everything up- it was mostly her packing up, and Zebruh just watching and talking. She didn't expect him too but it is still a mark on his endless list of misdeeds. 

But now he was doing what he was good at; being soft and meaningless after she did the hard work; he was comfortable to sink into when being in charge was too exhausting. Thinking about it too hard made chixie feel sick, guilty even. She pushed the feeling down and nuzzled his cool, heavily cologned chest. 

“I did good tonight. There were so many people. I almost threw up when I saw them!” She chuckled to herself, reveling in the success.

“♧Due to my promoting of you so much sweetheart, I gave your last show the best reviews- well near the best, I wanted to be realistic and make sure people didn’t think I was being biased by praising you more than other gutterblood performers.♧ ♤I’m glad you didn’t make a mess though, it really would have made us both look bad.♤ ♡I loved you singing though Chixie, it was inspired and-” Zebruh continued ongoing between praise and manipulation like it was a volley sport. Chixie tuned it out, knowing he would just keep going. It felt better to block it out than to confront the reality that he is just a casteist asshole that does not genuinely care about anything but himself, especially not her. It was just terrible noise she could just ignore to get these physical comforts. Just need to think about anything else, agree occasionally… keep her head to his chest. 

“♤Chixe? Are you not listening to me?♤” _shit_.

“No- I am listening / you just say this sort of thing all the time / I’m tired Zebruh / I wanted to relax a little while you talked / you don’t mind do you?” She tried to argue against whatever oncoming rant she triggered but she didn't want to hear it. Who was she trying to kid by putting up with this? She sighed as he began to talk again. His problems, his opinions, at least the ones he read on the internet.

_Why is this happening? Things were going so well, why does he keep talking._

“Zebruh.”

“I think even-♧ what Chixie? ♤It's rude to interrupt me when I’m talking about important things.♤”

“What your saying isn’t important Zebruh.” She was blunt and straightened up to look him in the eyes.

“♤Who the hell are you to say wa-” Zebruh got caught off by Chixie’s hand to his mouth.

“Shhhhh / please just be quiet/ This isn’t good / it is not working / I’m not your gutterblood card / please. This isn’t cute or impressive.” Her face was scrunched in frustration. Too tired to really be dealing with this but feeling too sick to do nothing. She hoped it would make some difference.

He muffled out a retort that was unintelligible behind her grip, but he was too unsure to move away from her hand, almost like he was intrigued by what she would do like she was a pet doing some unusual trick.

“I want to like you / I do / being with you is great / really / except for this, you are so…” she didn’t know how to continue, nothing she could say would convince him, he’s so sure he’s right. 

Zebruh looked at her with steely eyes, waiting for a punchline.

She sits up and takes her hand from his mouth, looking away from him, staring at the door across the room.

He squints harshly at her as his anticipation is left unsatisfied, “♤So what? Can't think of anything I do wrong? Then what's the problem? Am I not a good enough ally for you? Hmm?♤” He seemed to be getting a bit angry.

“You / You… / “ Chixie rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying not to scream at how stupid the words coming out of his mouth are, “ I don’t know hardly anything about you “

Zebruh stewed on that for a minute, his brain trying to find the twist, the entertainment, struggling. “♧Hmmph, I guess you don’t! So this is your problem.♧” yes, he figured it out! It's all her, not him.

“I don’t know if I’m the right person to listen / I’m still tired and you aren’t my responsibility / but if you want to talk / actually talk / then you should / I won't like you less for trusting me with how you actually feel”

“Hah, what.” Zebruh grimaced, all his insides flipping at this. Why was she being so unaffected? “If you think I’m so bad then you should just leave, our deals off. Get help somewhere else.”

Chixie felt a little panic, maybe trying to push him was the wrong move. She thought on if she's ready to push against a highblood’s career crushing grudge. No, definitely not. Why did she have to be right instead of compliant! She hates her insightful and blunt nature sometimes. 

She sighed and turned back to look at him, “Zebruh…” She turned her whole body back toward him, better to be present. “ I just want to be able to help / can’t we talk like equals about this sort of thing / I’m always so scared you are putting on this zealous act for me- for everyone / I want you to be happy Zebruh” 

Was it a lie? Not entirely. Was it a manipulation to get him to associate her with good feelings so he doesn't kick her to the curb? Definitely.

He strained his face in conflicting emotions but settled on a satisfied smile. “I guess we all put on a bit of a mask when we want people to like us, even a secure person like me.♢ I should open up more to you. We do respect each other, after all...♢”

Chixie smiled back, knowing she lost three times the ground she made in that intervention, but she was still secure, that's what was important. She strokes his face and lies back down next to him. “ it takes time to get better / it's not always easy / it'll be okay”


End file.
